Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Married man / Bi polar

Are you in love w/a married man? Are you married to a moody/bi-polar/Dr Jekyl/Mr Hyde? Below is an email to a client of mine whom I had given a reading to. She's married to a moody guy and in love w/a married man. You may find it helpful. Hi,(anonymous) Yes, bi-polar/moody/Dr Jekyl/ Mr Hyde people are difficult to be involved with. A painful situation and all too common. You stay for those moments of happiness, the high points. We can actually become addicted to the highs AND lows. The brain gets used to feeling certain emotions, then actually seeks to feel them again, even the negative ones. Its the wasy the brain is wired. The other issue is that because the bad times are so bad, the good times seem great. An example from one of my clients: Her boyfriend is bi-polar. On a bad day, he will say things that he knows will upset her, suggesting that he's having sex w/other people, etc. She will be devestated for a day or two, then he will turn into the nice guy. He will make a simple gesture like bringing home something she likes from the grocaery store, or making her breakfast. After the way he treated her the day before, this gesture seems like a grand one, amazingly thoughtful and generous. In this type of relationship, you are being trained to be happy with crumbs. Over time, you lose your self respect, and his respect for you and your standards are lowered. We need to get off the rollercoaster and the only way is to get lots of therapy and/or to just leave and avoid interaction w/the person, in my opinion, for 6 months or more. If you're required to talk fine, (about money, the kids, selling the house, etc) but no dates, no talking about feelings, no re-hashing the history of the relationship. You must think of the person as if he/she were an addictive substance. Ideally, after awhile, you can go back and be friends if you feel that the person would be better as a friend than he was as a marriage partner/lover. But you need to take care of yourself first by breaking the cycle. Regarding the married man you are in love with, his situation is difficult, but, like you, he's choosing it. When he's had enough he will leave. I know you want to be there for him, but there is some lesson he needs to learn from this situation. More than we are doers we are deciders. When you both decide you deserve a happy life, you will leave and start a new life (w/eachother or someone else if one of you cannot leave your current marriage) The cards suggest he will leave her, but time- frames are very difficult because time is relative/an illusion, and time-frames change all the time, based on our thoughts, actions and changing circumstances. The universe/God/your own higher self will open doors once you have made a firm decision. No one can do that for you. It will come from inside you. Life is short and God wants us to be happy. I hope you and John choose happiness soon. I am not a religious person, but I do believe in God and he hears my prayers for myself and others. I will create a prayer for you. Use it if you are interested/comfortable w/prayer. Father, Son Holy, Spirit please enter my life and my relationships. Speak to my heart and the hearts of my husband, my son, John and his wife. Influence and inspire us, transform us and guide us all to a life full of joy, abundance, good health and harmonious relationships. Guide us all to our highest good, in accordance w/divine will & divine timing, harming none. Thank you, Amen ** The key here is to place the details and timing into Gods hands, having faith that he will work things out in a way that everyone involved will be happy and that no one will get hurt. I wish you well. Call me if you need me, Aleta

1 comment:

simplypsychics said...

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