How can you help yourself or another who is in a bad relationship? Here's an email to a client of mine (anonymous) with some suggestions, based on my experience as a professional psychic and phone counselor. The 1st few lines are personally for my client, the rest can be applied to anyone in a bad relationship or anyone with a friend or relative who's in such a relationship. Please share this advice with anyone who may be helped by it.
"Hi, Yes i thought card 2, (the Queen of Swords) in the reading described both you & his wife. Both perceptive and intutive and both lonely. But patience you have; otherwise you wouldnt still be there, in love with a married man.I think when you say you're not patient, what you mean is you dont have a lot of tolerance for her lack of compassion for him.
Be careful not to feel his anger for him. We've all done this for friends- (been angry for them when they are in an abusive/neglectful relationship). Its easy to get cast into the role of the one who feels their anger for them, so they dont have to feel it. It enables them to:
a) not confront the other person (telling you "I wanted to say ____", or "I should have walked out" etc, instead of saying these things to the one who is hurting them.
b) it helps them to avoid fully feeling their own feelings, which
c) allows them to stay in the relationship longer (avoid the stress involved in making changes)because youre carrying the burden of their negative emotions for them.
So, however angry you feel, dont express it to him. Instead, ask, calmly, as a good counselor would-
" How do you feel when she (treats you like that/says that/does that) " This helps him acknowledge & express his own feelings and at the same time shows him that you care how he feels and that you're allowing him to feel/figure things out for himself. This is very supportive and empowering.
Some other things you can ask are: " What kind of relationship would you like to have, if you could have the ideal relationship?" "How would you like to be treated?" "How do you want to feel in your day to day life?" "Can you imagine having that?" "What do you think it would take to get that?"
Open-ended questions that help him focus on what he DOES want instead of how bad things are/what he DOESNT want- the essential rule of creating the life you want, as seen in many books on creative visualization, and movies such as The Secret. Get him thinking and talking about what he wants/could have, (without telling him that youre the answer to his prayers. We both know you are and so does he but dont say it! LOL) Your sincere concern and support during these conversations will show him/remind him.
At times when you cant talk to him, just imagine these conversations in your mind, especially when you go to bed at night. Your love and support WILL be felt on some level and will help him. Then ask to meet with him while you are sleeping and to be guided in what to say/how to help him. Most of us are leaving our bodies during the night (astral projection). You may as well program yourself/choose where you're going and who you will meet up with. Hope this helps, Aleta"
READERS- please share your thoughts regarding this topic/ this posting, thanks